This October, our students from Batch 36 at St. Aloysius Gonzaga College in South Jakarta, Indonesia,  were given the opportunity to get away from their gadgets for 5 days. This was done to make the students more focused on experiencing Live-in in Kertasarie, Bandung, West Java. This experience makes our students more grateful. It is because they can see how to live a life from a very different point of view.

Gabriel Cyrillus Lesmana, one of our students, has written an article to share his thoughts on the experience.

Sonata from A Wounded Tea Tree
by Gabriel Cyrillus Lesmana X-1/14

“… When you’re weary
Feeling small
When tears are in your eyes
I’ll dry them all
I’m on your side
Oh, when times get rough
And friends just can’t be found
… Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down”
(Bridge Over Troubled Water, Song by Simon and Garfunkel)

Class XI of Gonzaga College High School in the 2023/2024 academic year had the opportunity to participate in Live-in activity, located in a tea plantation complex, in Pengalengan Area, West Java.  The village we lived in was named Gandasarie. It was one of the three villages where all of us were divided into host family sub.  The two other villages where my schoolmates lived with their host families were Kertasarie and Rawasarie.

My classmates and I lived with our “foster families” for 5 days starting from October 2nd until October 7th. There, together with our “new parents”, we mingled and immersed ourselves in the daily activities. We took a break from our daily life in Jakarta and lived life in a village.  A very contrasting lifestyle.  As for most of us: we were trying to forget the softness of the mattress in our bed, replacing it with sleeping on a camping mattress and sleeping bag as our blanket. We were living unattached with our gadgets. For a while, we did intensively two sided conventional communications with the host families. Face to face. Start from zero with people we just met.  Our daily activities? We did what our family did.

I’ve heard so many stories about the benefits of being involved in this activity.  My parents, my uncles, my aunties, my relative grandpas and grandmas, they contributed in giving me a good perspective on how this activity affected their growth, regarding their social interaction and deal with others who have different lifestyles than us.  On one hand, it’s to train us to be sensitive (in a good way) human beings, to show how lucky we are with what we have had in our hands and what lies in front of our eyes.  It is about social awareness to others who live next to us and how their life could give a humanity touch to us.

On the other hand, it is about giving us good preparation, the best as both our parents and school can give.  By sending us to Jesuit School (Gonzaga College, in this case) they agree to cooperate with the school, with every project this school wants us to grow with.  Plus, our parents are committed with the teaching and education values (4C: Competence, Compassion, Commitment, Conscience) this school has.  It is hoped that during three years of studying in Gonzaga College (or another Jesuit schools), every single student will grow better and better.  It is not only from the aspect of our academic life, but also growing as a caring human being.  Our parents agree to get involved in giving us the rod and together with school, teaching us how to fish.  One day, all of us will be able to feed ourselves for a lifetime.  The goal is to give us some big preparation in facing the next step of life after high school.  Later, the complexity of living in real life will become harder.  We are trained and prepared now to learn and adapt earlier.  But also for me personally,  it is about being related and connected with what we dream about what we will be next in the future.  To prepare us to be men and women for others.

The host family I have lived with is a very simple family. Mr. Dacut, the head of the family, was an odd-jobber. He works according to the instructions from his boss. He might be: one day in the morning, working to remove parasites from the tea trees in the plantation, and later in the afternoon, switching himself into a different job, such as cleaning the rooms and toilets in the meeting hall. All what he does everyday depends on the instructions from his boss. During my stay there, I helped my foster father with whatever his boss instructed him to do. I also helped my foster mother with houseworks such as washing dishes as well as sweeping and mopping the floor. I thank my mom for this! I mean, I can say I’m eloquent enough to do those kinds of houseworks.  And this is because I have been trained for quite some time.  I used to do these households alongside me doing my responsibilities as a high school student in Gonzaga College and a music school student both in Yamaha Music School and Royal Music School.

Mr. Dacut’s wife, my host mom, her name is Mrs. Hani.  She is a full time housewife. They have a son named Agil who is only 5 years old. I was stunned by how Mrs. Hani prepared food for us, to be honest.  She really tried her best to make us feel at home through her cooking  Three times daily for the main course, three times as well for different varied and tempting snacks.  Rafa and I really really enjoyed the food she served us. No matter how much I urged Mrs. Hani helped her do household things, my host mom always begged Rafa and I to take it easy, to not bother thinking of wanting to help her.  She just wanted me and Rafa to feel “at home”, relax, and enjoy the stay.  She said she didn’t mind it.  However, I never gave up.  I never stopped « bothering » her until she got fed up and allowed me and Rafa to do chores around the house, including accompanying Agil to study.

Aside from the fact that we were sent to do Live-in activity in the middle of the tea plantation, what I had been doing with my foster parents and my housemate was not directly accorded with plantations just like the rest of my friends did.  That made sense to me concerning the profession that my foster father was entitled to be.  But I was not disappointed about it.  How could I be?  In fact, at some point, the difference that I had compared to other friends, gave me more varied journeys I had experienced throughout this event.  My host family,  they were so humble and respectful to me and Rafa, my housemate. They treated us as if we were their nephews who  just came home for school vacation and wanted to stay at their house. They were more like an uncle and aunt to us, who just had and welcomed their favorite nephews who arrived home from school or college in Jakarta. They wanted me and Rafa to feel comfortable during our stay there. Whatever they gave, was the best they could do for me and Rafa so that we could feel at home while staying with them.

Having our host father as an odd-jobber, apparently giving more privilege for us (Mr. Dacut, Rafa, and me) to have more time to discuss and talk with.  Our discussions were so diverse, from man to man conversation, jumping into deep talk about life, or about Kertasarie in general as one solid complex of tea plantation but is still far from the definition of a developed area.  From the welfare of the villagers, the lack of accessibilities to pursue better higher education in the nearest location, to the appearances of the flies that we have seen so often in this area that was caused by the piles of garbage everywhere.  I must admit that those were the 5 days I have gained life lessons from someone whose educational background was probably not as fortunate as smart big city people, but could quench the thirst of my curiosity about this and that in practical life.

One day, the deep talk reached the moment where it was getting more and more personal on one hand, but on the other hand it enlightened me as a teenager.  The story of Mr. Dacut, his siblings, and his mom were abandoned by their father (his father left them a couple of days before Mr. Dacut was born) and the struggles they had to deal with life, is a lesson learned for us.  Some people out there are probably experiencing the same story like Mr. Dacut and his family did, and this story is a way to teach us to be a compassionate person to others, as much as we have to be strong if we are in this situation.  I never thought that in the breezy location in the middle of the tea plantation, life could strike me with this painful story I thought only kids in big cities are having this problem with.  The lightning struck one branch of the tea tree and wounded it.

The part when we had to say goodbye to each other was surprisingly the hardest part for me.  Funny how the short meeting could make a deep impression and touch my spiritual journey as a person, a young man, a member of the global young generation that will soon have sincerity and simplicity remain still in our mind.  Many times I wanted to cry during the farewell season with them, but I could handle myself better.  I cried when I arrived at school when I saw my mom getting ready to welcome me and two of my best friends, Michelle and Josephine.  I was not the only one who cried that evening, both of my friends also shared their moment to my mom, all about our mixed feelings leaving Kertasarie.

I can say I am a lucky boy among all of my friends who experienced this Live-in program.  I have been living in different places that needed our ability to adapt quickly.  Six years living in Bali, five years going back to living in Jakarta, the first five years of my life, I was surrounded by western people regarding my mom’s job and her education.  This “nomads” lifestyle I have lived in, has broadened my perspective of life and made me an open minded young man.  I bravely and proudly could state this.

To be honest, I was never thinking about how poor they are, or how fortunate I am regarding the amounts of material things my parents have.  Everything is so relative for me.  Each of us was born into this world, God only knows the purpose of how and why He created us.  Unfortunately, we can’t choose who’s gonna be our parents, in which kind of wealth or poverty condition we live in? As human beings, we live our life and build our future not demanding our Creator to give us an ideal rich life.  We strive for it, we harmonize it with others.

What I saw in Kertasarie and we considered it all as a whole package of “something still left behind”, it was not something that we could bring up, probably could be something Kertasarie villagers feeling ungrateful.  It applies vice versa,  I feel grateful I live in Jakarta, a big city that offers me a lot of flexibility and privileges in terms of having what I need.  You name it… education, entertainment, modern lifestyle, access to updated hi-tech, and so on and so on.  But maybe for them, they would feel not used to it and would be grateful to live in Kertasarie.  Maybe they couldn’t handle the long hours of traffic jams like Jakarta people could do everyday.  They will not get used to it.  This is what I meant by saying “everything is so relative for me”.

I have witnessed the condition in Kertasarie.  A place that is near to West Java capital city, Bandung and not far from Jakarta, is far from what we may call it as a modern area.  It is the opposite.  Whose responsibility then to make this beautiful place to be more modernized with more educated people?  Our government?  It is theirs for sure!  But hey, we will be the next leaders one day.  By having this opportunity, we have had a chance to have a look around a bit earlier than others in our generation.  We have had a big picture about the amount of real social problems  that have lived in our beloved country.  Where is our concern, our awareness, our care?

I feel grateful I had a special session listening about Mr. Dacut’s past life. One of the four points of Universal Apostolic Preferences mentioned about “walking with the excluded”.  At some point, being a listener to someone whose story needed to be heard, reminds me of the song from Simon and Garfunkel, in which I quoted a small amount of the lyric to begin writing this reflection.  A song that I used to play with my piano, a modern interpretation from Jesus’ words to His followers in Matthew 11:28-30, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” I’m not Jesus for sure!  But at least I could be (together with my housemate, Rafa) a trusted person that Mr. Dacut needed at that time.  However, I feel enriched and impressed by the way he dealt with his situation.  I got a good lesson on how to be a strong person from a decent village man.

I have learned from my host family about serving others sincerely!  I’m thankful for that.  In our society, mostly big city societies, people tend to measure the service by how extraordinary the appearances that are served on the table are.  What’s the terminology of it?  Ah yes…Flexing! Everything is about how magnificent the looks, how expensive the price, how wonderful and prestigious the location, et cetera et cetera.  Living in Kertasarie for 5 days, I have gained almost 3 kilograms!  All because of the delicious food Mrs. Hani served for both of us everyday.  On a simple plate, on a simple dining table, with the warmth of their humbled smile.  It doesn’t take a million rupiah to serve others!  We all can do it.  Just be sincere, kind, and generous.

I have a dream to become a human rights lawyer and a marine biologist that will fight for the wellness of both human beings and nature. The call grows everyday and I know it needs more than just a smart individual.  Moreover, a combination of passion,  patience, competence, commitment and conscience are required, no doubt about it! But foremost I believe it requires a caring and compassionate person to make it happen.  By continuing doing what I have been doing all these years as a person my friends could rely on when they need my time to listen to and help their difficulties in life and school tasks, I guess I have started myself to make my paths the right way.  Even in simple small things.  I actually like it when they feel relieved after they finish telling their stories to me.  It feels like I already helped their burden be lifted up a bit.   In a way, I always believe that by listening to them and giving my little time to them, I actually was learning too.  Next in the future,when I’m already becoming a lawyer or a marine biologist, I will be spending hours and hours of my time listening to people telling their stories about things that happened on them.  By starting to do so today, I am actually trying myself to get used to it. A lesson that perhaps we won’t find in the school room.  When people feel relieved and happy after sharing their gushed story, I believe one wounded tea tree is healed. Hopefully it will be fragrant soon.  Thank you, Mr. Dacut and family.

Ad Maiorem Dei Gloriam!