Continuing with the exploration and reflection through a series of articles written in a conversational language about Catholicism, about God, about Jesus, about the Church and many other faith related topics. Here we present:

Question 35 – Why should you forgive?  

Jesus* asks you to forgive those who have wronged you, and more than a little bit. He asks to forgive ‘seventy times seven times’ (Mt 18:22). But is forgiveness possible? And if it is at all possible, is it desirable? Isn’t forgiveness for the weak? Isn’t revenge more powerful?

Forgiveness is not cowardly, on the contrary it requires that you dare to face up to the evil that the other person has done to you. That’s why forgiveness can hurt, but forgiveness is above all liberating. Not only for those who are forgiven but especially for the victim who can forgive. Forgiveness means that you can finally let go of anger, resentment and other negative feelings. Without forgiveness, these feelings threaten to grow deeper and take up more and more space. This is why forgiveness fosters inner healing, makes new life possible and gives hope. Forgiveness means that you can really turn the page on any evil in your life.

Forgiveness becomes easier when the perpetrator regrets and asks for forgiveness. But fortunately, the victim is not a hostage to the goodwill of the perpetrator. You can also forgive if the perpetrator is unknown, has already died, or does not repent at all. You don’t need the offender’s permission to cut the chain of the feelings of revenge.

Christians believe that in the end it is God* himself who forgives, through them. That’s why they find it useful to ask God in prayer to be able to forgive. Even if you want to sometimes, you can’t just decide to forgive. Forgiveness of those who have done you harm is given to you. Suddenly you can feel that the time is ripe. That’s why Christians call forgiveness a grace*. It is a gift from God.

– Do you find forgiveness difficult?
– Are there things that make it easier for you to forgive?

Watch this space! Coming up:   Question 36 – Is purgatory a punishment? 

Follow these links to go back to previous questions

If you wish to learn more about this resource follow this link  “52 Questions and Answers about faith”

About the author:

Nikolaas Sintobin, SJ, joined the Society of Jesus in 1989, following a short career as a lawyer. He was trained as a Jesuit in Brussels, Paris, and Santiago de Chile. Today he is a spiritual director who is keenly interested in online ministry and discovering new ways to help people find God.

This text is republished with the permission of Messenger Publications, Ireland. To buy a hard copy of the book click here.