In this article, we share the third testimony of “I Will Tell You My Story: Voices of Eastern African Girls”. This is a series of stories and testimonies to raise awareness of a very predominant reality that might seem very distant in time and space to many of us, but that is not. Each story is a short reading and each of them is focused in one different thematic to be treated with the students (we recommend secondary education students, from 13 to 18 years). These being: girls’ role at home, menstruation as a taboo, forced marriage and early pregnancy, child labour and school deprivation, domestic and sexual violence, and war and armed conflict.

We recommend treating every story in an independent manner, reading it with the students in class and then invite for a reflection and a call for action of the youths.

About the Project.

In 2023, JRS Eastern Africa with the support of Entreculturas Spain and Light of the Girls, has worked with girls under 15 years in Eastern Africa Region (i.e., Kenya, South Sudan, Ethiopia, and Uganda) to develop this set of stories and testimonies, “I Will Tell You My Story”.

The purpose of this material is to: first, conduct group counselling with girls who have suffered different kinds of violence in a child-friendly manner by sharing their own stories; second, to serve as an educational material to raise awareness among the readers outside the region who might not be aware of the episodes of violence that girls still suffer daily in this part of the world; and third, to call for the action of the readers who can, in many different ways, take an active participation in the cause of defending girls’ right to a violence-free life.

Click here to learn more about this project I Will Tell You My Story: Voices of Eastern African Girls, and to see previous published testimonies.

Below is the third testimony out of six testimonies that we will be sharing during the next few months. When reading is finished we recommend using the Proposed Questions for Reflection which are shared below, and consider using the Proposed Calls For Action also shared below.

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Testimony #3
WILMA – SOUHT SUDAN
Nationality: South Sudanese
Age: 14
Main Topic: Forced marriage and early pregnancy

My name is Wilma and I’m 14 years old. I live in Yambio, southern South Sudan border with Central African Republic and the Democratic Republic of Congo.

I like living here. It is here where I was born and raised, and I have never known anything else beyond this.

At home, I live with my parents, my 5 siblings, my auntie and my 4 cousins. We have a farm that helps us provide for the family. I used to like the farm a lot when I was a child, but now, it is just a source of problems in my family…. And it is my fault.

I love school. I am lucky that I can go to class and that, despite struggling, my mother manages to pay the school fees. At least, most of the times. My dream is to become a midwife and help women like my mother give birth! I have seen how hard this can be when my mom delivered my youngest sister.

In my culture, as my auntie says, girls are a blessing to the family, because we are a source of wealth. When we reach the age when we can get married, our families arrange a compromise with a male peer in exchange of lands, kettle, and money. But for that, you need to be “worth it”. According to her, when a girl gets married, she must be able to do all the house chores: cooking, cleaning, taking care of the sick, the elderly and the children, farming and caring for the kettle. If not, you are considered a shame to your family for not being raised “the way you should”.

As a child, I used to understand that, but I was not aware how harmful that would end up being for me.

Many days my aunt request me to stay at home and go to work in the farm, instead of going to school. Especially when my mother struggles to gather the school fees for me. I hate it when it happens… more than once I had to be taken out of the school by the principal because he says my mom did not pay my fees on time. When that happens, I always cry! I want to go to school to become a professional and get a carrier. But my aunt gets angry when I say so.

“Do you want to be the shame of the family, Wilma? Why do you need to go to school and make your mother suffer to pay your fees, if at the end your only work will be to take care of your house, your husband, and your children? Girls do not belong to school. It is a man’s thing! Don’t be so selfish and work!” she always tells me.

I don’t want to make my mother suffer. I don’t want to shame my family, neither! But I don’t understand why to do so I need to neglect my education.

When we do not have enough money to pay the school fees for all, it is only my brothers who get sent to school. Even if they are younger than me! Girls are not allowed to go for private studies. The families are not willing to pay much school fees because they say: “anyways, you will end up married to a man who provides for you”.

My mother still supports me, but at the very end, she also understands my aunt. Even herself never went to school

and got married when she was 16. So, she would not enter a fight for it, and sometimes I end up leaving school to go to the farm with my mother and my aunt.

My cousin Julie got married last year. She was 14 years old, like I am now.

When our neighbour and far uncle came to ask for her hand, despite he was 30 years older than her, her parents agreed. The family struggles to provide for all, so they felt it as a good opportunity to help support the family needs.

Julie was one of the best students in her class! But she had to quit after marriage. Her husband did not approve her going to school.

She is now pregnant of her second child… She says she is happy, but I know Julie. She had big dreams…. But in my village, it seems like girls are not allowed to dream big.

At least this is what we saw with Salma. Salma was one of my best friends, she is five years older than me, but we had been playing together since we were children. Two years ago, she had the same experience as Julie: her parents accepted the marriage request of an elderly neighbour who had fallen in love with Salma’s beauty.

Salma, however, was in love with a boy in her class. They wanted to get married someday. But her family did not approve. Her boyfriend was just a kid from a humble family, while the neighbour was offering 50 goats for Salma’s hand! Salma refused to accept the offer, so her father was beating her every day. They even chained her in her house one night! Seeing she was not willing to change her mind, they even beat up her boyfriend, as a deterrent.

But their love was bigger than that.

One night, she ran away, promising she would never be back until her family respects her idea. And she has not come back.

I see her mother crying every day. Out of frustration, maybe? Out of fear? Out of empathy?

Rumour has it she might be in a refugee camp somewhere in Kenya or Uganda… No one knows… I just wish she is fine. I miss her a lot. But I understand what she did.

I just pray I will not go through the same situation… but none of us knows.

I pray I will be able to finish my studies and became a midwife. And that, when I get married, it is with someone that makes me happy.

But where I come from, for a poor girl like me, such dreams might be asking for too much.

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Proposed Questions for Reflection

1. Did you know this kind of violence was still being suffered today by girls in other parts of the world?
2. Do you think this reality can also be found in your country? Why?
3. Which rights are being violated in this story?
4. How different in this reality compared to yours?
5. What caught your attention the most of this testimony?
6. What could governments or different agencies (NGOs, civil society movements, etc.) do to finish with this reality?

Proposed Calls For Action

1. By sharing their stories and not forgetting this reality you become an advocator for girls’ rights.
2. By volunteering in organizations that fight for girls’ right you become an advocator for this cause.
3.  By organizing school campaigns to raise awareness on the reality suffered by many girls around the world, you become an advocator for the cause of girls’ globally.
4. By organizing a fundraising activity in your school or community to support any of the different NGO’s working with girls globally, you become an advocator for their cause.
5. What else do you think you could do to become an actor of change and advocate for the right of every girl to be safe and sound?!